Kind of like the mall scene in Mean Girls

Audiblezzzz: "When Did Your Heart Go Missing"-Rooney

I'm one of those people I feel bad for when I see them, and I think this is the first time I've ever done this. I am at at a restaurant, eating alone. I suppose it is not entirely alone; I have my homework to accompany me, but nonetheless, I am here, eating a bread bowl in solitude. Without a second thought.
Admittedly, the thought of being alone and desolate is appealing to me lately. I have been entertaining the thought of moving up to our apartment in Chico earlier than planned, to make my job hunt more practical, and to just spend some time... with myself. Human contact and communication has proven to be exhausting and I either want to sleep or live in some silence for awhile.
Because in the end...we're all truly alone, aren't we? I have amazing people in my life, but I am all I have at the same time. And I want to make peace with the constant loneliness I have felt. I want to get on its good side.'

Enough of that. There's a specific moment I'd like to write about, because in witnessing it, I was completely overtaken by the comedy of the situation.
Setting: Starbucks, about 8:30 pm. But instead of Baristas behind the counter, it was a bunch of Grizzly Bears with green aprons on. As I was waiting for my coffee, this delicious piece of man comes in. And I'm not typically one to judge these kinds of situations, but even I knew that this guy was beautiful. He was wearing a charming grandpa sweater, but with white Toms. What a perfect mix of generations, right? His face was scruffy with golden blond hair to match the tousled hair on his head, and he had piercing blue eyes.
WOW, anyways. Hi.
What was funny was how the animals behind the counter acted when they laid their hungry eyes on him. The certain carnivore at the register seemed to be in a trance as she politely asked him what his order was. She practiced flawless customer service, down to the last dreamy smile she gave him as she told him to "have a good day". As her eyes followed him to the bathroom, as soon as he drifted out of sight, she exclaimed to her two other co-workers:

"OH. MY. GOD. DidyouseehimhewasSOOOOcuteholyshityouhavetolookathimwhenhegetsback!!"
The other Grizzlies=giggles and frantic stares towards the bathroom... "Okay, okay we'll look!"
Cashier Grizzly: "SHH! He's coming back RIGHT NOW!"

They "went back to work", but now each one of them had their eyes fastened tightly on the restroom door. As they hustled and bustled getting dishes done and fixing drinks, they bumped into each other and fumbled with iced coffee as their eyeballs remained glued to the same spot.

As he re-entered the room, they kept their cool. Like they weren't waiting for him...
He silently took his coffee as all three women told him to have a FABULOUS day and smiled intensely at his golden face. He turned his back to fix his coffee, and when he did so, all of the smitten Bears made eyes at each other, weak at the knees, but fierce with instant lust. Had there not been a tall counter separating the employees from the customer, I would've been concerned for his safety.
He left the shop and they exhaled sighs of composure and began to excitedly chatter about how GORGEOUS he was, and suggested ideas of activities they would include him in, if given the chance.

It was hilarious. And so entertaining to watch. You know why?
Because throughout the day, we are constantly faced with the complexities of being human; the complications of everyday life. We have to make big decisions, face our emotions and sort out our feelings, we must balance responsibility with our own personal journeys towards Happiness... we must do a lot throughout our day. Our brains are constantly working in complicated ways, constantly moving and thinking and feeling and speaking and breathing.

This brief scenario was actually pretty inspiring to watch because it reminded me that even though we are human beings, the most complicated organisms known to live to this day (there are probably smarter aliens somewhere else), we are still quite animalistic. Raw. We are still ultimately guided by instincts. And watching these three women drool over an incredibly attractive man like he was a juicy steak was enough to ensure my belief that no matter how much influence society has on us, we are still animals.
Its comforting to know that even in times of such complication, we will still always have our animal instincts. They will still fuel us to be passionate, even if it is over something as simple as physical attraction. I don't want to ever be too human.



"Yeah, when I was only 17,
I could hear the angels whispering
So I droned into the woods and wandered aimlessly about
Until I heard my mother shouting through the fog
It turned out to be the howling of a dog
Or a wolf to be exact, the sound sent shivers down my back
But I was drawn into the pack and before long
They allowed me to join in and sing their song
So from the cliffs and highest hill, yeah
We would gladly get our fill
Howling endlessly and shrilly at the dawn
And I lost the taste for judging right from wrong
For my flesh had turned to fur, yeah
And my thoughts, they surely were
Turned to instinct
and obedience to God.

You can wear your fur
like a river on fire
But you better be sure
if you're makin God a liar
I'm a rattlesnake, Babe,
I'm like fuel on fire
So if you're gonna get made,
Don't be afraid of what you've learned."

-"Furr": Blitzen Trapper