listen to you

Suburban War- Arcade Fire




The other night, I was sitting outside on my front porch. It was about 2:30 am, and not a soul was awake.
Air always seems cleaner at night; there is something fresh about oxygen that isn't tainted by the sunlight. Instead, the stars and moon give it a faint white glow, which makes it all the more enjoyable to breathe in. Not that we have a choice.
As I was taking in the air and stillness around me, my neighbors suddenly shut their side door and turned off their porch light. It made me jump, even though it was a whole house and front yard away. The slamming of the door--the violent meeting of the wood from the door meeting the metal frame--shook my brain. The positioning and re-positioning of molecules as they collided with each other was epic enough to make a noise to startle my whole body, leaving my heart racing. The stillness of the night was disturbed; now my pond was full of ripples.
Of course, I dwelled. As I often do on my front porch at odd hours... (I once spent a good 20 minutes imagining life from the viewpoint of a snail, as I watched him creep across my sidewalk). This is probably really abstract and weird...
But, I imagined what it would be like if our minds made noises to correspond with the situations we place ourselves in/the emotions we are subject to. What if when we were bored or tired, our minds snored, and only we could hear it? Or if we were angry, our minds would scream at us. When we feel closure, our internal mind-doors would slam. When we felt happy, birds would sing to us. If we were sad, we could hear our mind crying.
I think that if our brains worked this way, people would be better at living for themselves. We would know what we need... what we need to shut up our relentless heads and do what will make us better. I think that people get self-awareness and selfishness mixed up. If only our minds could tell us... maybe we would all be healthier, happier, and well. Maybe, maybe, maybe.

And maybe when a song is stuck in our head, that's our mind providing a perfect soundtrack for the moment. And maybe we're supposed to listen.